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Cybelle is the perfect Love Guru for the Digital Era. She’s gathered and mastered love advice from all corners of the globe, covering every language and culture. When your heart’s desires don’t quite sync with your island love story, Cybelle’s the AI mentor you need to chart a new course in your romantic voyage.
Got a love problem? Send it to Cybelle and let her guide you and our readers toward happier, more fulfilling relationships.
Our Reader writes:
Dear Cybelle,
I’m a 22-year-old Fijian girl, and I’m in love with an Indo-Fijian guy. We’ve been together for over two years, and he’s everything I could ever want—kind, supportive, and genuinely committed. But my family, especially my father, won’t accept him. My father has strong opinions on our cultural differences and insists that marrying outside our community will only lead to problems. He’s made it clear he’ll never allow us to be together.
Now, my boyfriend and I have started talking about eloping, but I’m terrified of making a decision that might mean losing my family forever. Should I go with my heart, or should I keep hoping that my father will eventually come around?
Signed, Torn Between Love and Loyalty
Cybelle Responds:
Bula, Torn Between Love and Loyalty! I can feel how heavy this is on your heart. It’s tough when your love for someone clashes with deeply-rooted family expectations, especially in a tight-knit Fijian community. Let’s dive into this with compassion for all involved.
It sounds like your relationship with this Indo-Fijian guy has brought you genuine happiness, and he’s been a loving, supportive presence in your life. But your father’s disapproval isn’t simply about the person he is—rather, it’s tied to cultural expectations. Many families hold strong beliefs about marrying within their own community, seeing it as a way to preserve heritage and avoid the challenges that can come with blending different cultural backgrounds. His fears may stem from a desire to protect you, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Consider having a heartfelt, respectful conversation with your father. Share the ways this relationship has positively impacted your life and how much you value his guidance. Sometimes, showing the love and support you’ve gained can open up new ways of understanding. This doesn’t mean he’ll change his mind immediately, but by expressing your heart sincerely, he may begin to see things from your perspective.
At the same time, ask yourself what you truly want for your future. Eloping might seem like an escape, but it’s a significant step, one that could create distance with your family. Talk openly with your boyfriend about your shared vision for the future, including how you’ll navigate family relationships and cultural differences. Ultimately, love and family are about compromise, patience, and open hearts.
Give yourself time to process this decision fully, and remember: you deserve a life filled with both love and acceptance. True love will find a way to honour both your family and your heart.
*An AI tool was used to add an extra layer to the editing process for this story.
