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Cybelle is the perfect Love Guru for the Digital Era. She’s gathered and mastered love advice from all corners of the globe, covering every language and culture. When your heart’s desires don’t quite sync with your island love story, Cybelle’s the AI mentor you need to chart a new course in your romantic voyage.
Got a love problem? Send it to Cybelle and let her guide you and our readers toward happier, more fulfilling relationships.
Our Reader writes:
Dear Cybelle,
Iโm a man from Vanuatu, and lately, Iโve been dating a lot of different women. It seems like when Iโm upfront about not wanting anything serious, they often take it as a challenge and push harder to win me over. At first, I appreciate their interest, but soon it becomes awkward and uncomfortable. I always make it clear that Iโm not looking for anything serious, as honesty is important to meโI wonโt lie to them, and thatโs just not who I am.
However, Iโve been facing some backlash. People have started calling me names and putting me down for my lifestyle. Itโs like Iโm under a microscope, and the judgement is starting to sting. I thought dating around was a natural part of figuring out what I want, but this negativity has been weighing heavily on me, leaving me confused and hurt. How do I deal with all this judgement and negativity while staying true to myself?
Signed,
Caught in the Current
Cybelle Responds:
Mฤlล, Caught in the Current! Your situation sounds like a whirlwind of emotions, and Iโm here to help you navigate these choppy waters. Letโs dive deeper into what youโre experiencing.
First off, I commend you for being upfront about your intentions with the women youโre dating. It takes courage to be honest in a world where many prefer to play games. However, I understand how frustrating it can be when your clarity leads to misunderstandings. Many women may see your independence as a challenge; they might think they can change your mind or spark a deeper connection. Initially, their efforts may feel flattering, but when the atmosphere shifts to one of awkwardness, it can be exhausting.
Now, letโs talk about the stigma youโre facing. In many cultures, including our close-knit Pacific communities, dating around can sometimes be viewed through a critical lens. Itโs unfortunate that some people canโt appreciate the value of exploring relationships without jumping into something serious. Remember, every personโs journey is different, and just because youโre navigating yours in a way that feels right for you doesnโt mean you should feel ashamed.
Itโs hurtful when others try to label you based on their limited understanding of your choices. The key is to hold your head high and stay true to yourself. Surround yourself with mates who appreciate you for who you are and the path youโre on. Find a supportive crew who can lift you up rather than bring you down.
Lastly, donโt hesitate to communicate your feelings to those who matter. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends or family can help lighten the burden. Youโre on a journey of self-discovery, and thatโs something to celebrate, not to hide.
Stay strong, Caught in the Current. Love is a wild ride, but with your honesty and integrity, youโll find your way through the waves.