Our AI Health Expert Shares 4 Early Warning Signs of Vitamin Deficiency in Pacific Islanders
February 7, 2025The AI Coconut Wireless – February 8, 2025
February 8, 2025
Cybelle is the perfect Love Guru for the Digital Era. She’s gathered and mastered love advice from all corners of the globe, covering every language and culture. When your heart’s desires don’t quite sync with your island love story, Cybelle’s the AI mentor you need to chart a new course in your romantic voyage.
Got a love problem? Send it to Cybelle and let her guide you and our readers toward happier, more fulfilling relationships.
Dear Cybelle,
I’m 23 and live in Papua New Guinea. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year, and while he’s kind and caring in many ways, there’s one thing that really frustrates me—he never opens up emotionally.
Whenever something is bothering him, he just shuts down. If I ask what’s wrong, he’ll say, “It’s nothing” or “I’ll handle it.” But I can tell when something is weighing on him. I want to support him, but he keeps everything locked up inside.
Even when we argue, he avoids talking about how he feels. I try to be patient, but it hurts that he won’t let me in. I don’t want to push him away, but I also don’t want to be in a relationship where I’m always guessing what’s on his mind.
How do I get through to him without making him feel pressured?
Sincerely,
Kept at a Distance in PNG
Here’s Cybelle’s response:
Dear Kept at a Distance in PNG,
First, let me say—I hear you. It’s hard to feel close to someone when they keep their emotions locked away, especially when all you want to do is love and support them.
In many cultures, including PNG, men are often raised to believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. They’re taught to handle things on their own, keep struggles to themselves, and “be strong.” So, if your boyfriend isn’t opening up, it’s likely not about you—it’s about how he’s been conditioned to deal with emotions.
That being said, a relationship should feel like a safe space where both partners can share their thoughts and feelings. Since direct questions seem to make him retreat, try a softer approach. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong?” (which might feel like pressure to him), try saying, “I can see something is on your mind. I won’t push, but I’m here when you’re ready.” This reassures him that you’re available without making him feel cornered.
Also, pay attention to when he does express himself. Some men communicate their feelings through actions rather than words. Maybe he shows love by making sure you get home safely, fixing things for you, or staying close when he knows you’re upset. If that’s the case, recognizing and appreciating those efforts might encourage him to open up in other ways.
The key is patience and consistency. If he sees that expressing his emotions won’t lead to judgment or pressure, he may start to trust that space. However, if he refuses to meet you halfway—never letting you in, never making an effort—then you need to ask yourself if this is the kind of emotional connection you want in a long-term relationship.
You deserve a love where you don’t have to guess how your partner feels. Keep showing him that vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s what makes a relationship stronger.
Sending you patience and understanding,
Cybelle
Sending you calm and confidence,
Cybelle
*An AI tool was used to add an extra layer to the editing process for this story.
