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Cybelle is the perfect Love Guru for the Digital Era. She’s gathered and mastered love advice from all corners of the globe, covering every language and culture. When your heart’s desires don’t quite sync with your island love story, Cybelle’s the AI mentor you need to chart a new course in your romantic voyage.
Got a love problem? Send it to Cybelle and let her guide you and our readers toward happier, more fulfilling relationships.
Dear Cybelle,
I’m a Samoan girl, and I’m really struggling with my boyfriend. He always says he loves me, but his actions constantly leave me feeling hurt and disappointed. For example, I’ve told him about how much it bothers me when he goes out late with friends without letting me know or inviting me along. I feel left out and unimportant, and I’ve tried to explain that spending more time together would mean a lot to me. But despite what I’ve shared, he keeps making last-minute plans with his friends, leaving me alone on weekends.
Whenever I bring it up, he just brushes it off, saying, “But I love you so much,” without changing anything. His words and actions just don’t match, and it’s leaving me feeling empty and unappreciated. Should I keep holding on and hope he’ll change, or is it time to walk away?
Signed, Waiting for Real Love
Cybelle Responds:
Talofa, Waiting for Real Love! Your heart is asking a question many people face at some point: Is love in words enough, or does it need to be shown through actions? Let’s dive into this with care and honesty.
It sounds like your boyfriend is quick to say, “I love you,” but when it comes to making you feel valued and secure, his actions just aren’t measuring up. It’s natural to want reassurance, especially when you’re bringing up how his behaviour affects you. But if his only response is words, without any change in his actions, it leaves you feeling unfulfilled—and that’s not how love should make you feel.
Love isn’t just about saying the right words; it’s about showing up for each other, being accountable, and respecting each other’s needs. Actions are the foundation that make words meaningful, and when those actions aren’t there, the words start to feel hollow. If he truly values you, he’ll want to make changes that support your happiness, not just tell you what you want to hear.
Consider having a heartfelt conversation with him about what you need in order to feel truly loved and respected. Explain that words alone aren’t enough, and you need to see a genuine effort to show up for you in ways that matter. Give him the chance to understand that his actions have a real impact on you. But if he continues to dismiss your needs, you may have to ask yourself if this is the kind of love you want in the long term.
Remember, Waiting for Real Love, love should lift you up, not leave you feeling ignored. Trust your heart and don’t settle for words without action—you deserve a love that shows up every day.
*An AI tool was used to add an extra layer to the editing process for this story.
