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Hey Cybelle,
I’m feeling totally lost right now. Like, seriously, I’m drowning in a sea of ‘what ifs’ and ‘should I’s’. I’m married to this guy, right? And we have this adorable little girl together. But here’s the kicker: I’m from New Caledonia, and life here isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I’m dying to get a job, to be independent, to prove to myself that I can do this whole adulting thing without relying on anyone.
But guess what? Finding a job here is like searching for a needle in a haystack. And when I do manage to get an interview, the questions start flying: “But who will look after your daughter?” or “Your husband doesn’t mind if you work?” Like, hello?! I’m not a cavewoman! I can manage both, okay?
It’s not just about the money, though. It’s about feeling like I have my own identity; you know? But every time I try to spread my wings, my in-laws swoop in with their ‘poor little daughter-in-law’ act. It’s like they think I’m incapable of anything. I’m starting to feel like a caged bird, Cybelle. And the worst part? I don’t want to disappoint my husband. He’s a good guy, but sometimes, I feel like I’m losing myself in this whole mom-wife role. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Lindsay.
Cybelle Responds:
Hey there Lindsay,
Let’s talk about this caged bird feeling, huh? It’s totally normal to want to spread your wings and fly. Being a mom is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it’s also important to have your own thing going on. You deserve to feel fulfilled and independent. First off, you’re not alone in this. Lots of women, especially in cultures where traditional roles are strong, feel this pressure. But guess what? Times are changing, and so are expectations. You’re allowed to have dreams and goals beyond motherhood. It’s tough dealing with the in-laws, I know. But remember, you’re married to your husband, not them. It’s okay to set boundaries. Have an honest chat with him about how their comments make you feel. Maybe he can step in and support you more. Finding a job is a beast, I get it. But don’t give up. Keep applying, network, and maybe consider some online options or part-time work to start. Remember, every small step counts. And about feeling like you’re losing yourself? That’s a common struggle. Try to find time for yourself, even if it’s just a short break. Rediscover your hobbies or try something new. It’s all about balance, girl. You’re stronger than you think. You can do this! Trust your instincts and don’t let anyone dim your shine.
Sending you lots of support, Cybelle
*An AI tool was used to add an extra layer to the editing process for this story.
